Today I was wearing my best coat when the Captain asked me about the dog. He said he wanted to get it, because apparently, a governor needs a dog. I tried to stop him, but it was no use. Waruwi’s dog Lauther, was gone for good.
While we were walking the captain told me he heard something like a growl. I, on the other hand, didn’t hear any thing. He told me to go the other way. This was my chance to warn Waruwi. I sprinted into the bush, ferns, and plants, scraped against my face, myself, struggling to see ahead.
At last I stumbled to the tree where Waruwi lived. I called for her, but she didn’t come out. Lauther, her dog came to my side and nuzzled my hand. Then, PLOP! Waruwi jumped out of the tree. I told her she needed to hide with Lauther. She laughed. Why wasn’t she taking it seriously? Then the men came out.
The men thought I had caught the dog. I had to take it with me. When we got back to camp I told Lauther not to run away, then BOOF! A rock, and another one! We left our post and hid. Soon it stopped and it was Waruwi. She needs to stay out of trouble.
My first star is that the structure is very good, the second star is that I can see what the story is, my wish for you is to not use too much slang words.